The Little Lie

is life just loneliness filled in with a few happy birthday parties?

is it cloudy days that never seem to clear?

or rain that falls like sheets and presses you into the ground?

(are mushrooms content?)












I will smile and say I'm fine.

I will laugh and toss my hair.

Pass you in the grocery line, pretend you aren't even there.

********************

The Vicious Queens

The vicious queens were having a yard sale.

I walked around the painter set up on the asphalt parking strip, and the various queens hanging out nonchalantly in the shade. Drinking and relaxing.  Honing and refining their venom.

It was a sunny saturday!

I looked at the things for sale, pretty cool stuff like bakelite and dishes and antique THINGS.

I heard a queen speaking loudly, loud enough for me to hear.

"SEE HER? HER!  DID YOU SEE THAT ROOSTER? SHE HAS A ROOSTER TATTOO.  DID YOU SEE IT? NO, HER! A ROOSTER TATTOO!"

So I knew she was talking about me.

So I said, "I AM a rooster."

And she cackled and said, "YOU'RE A COUGAR HONEY AND I'M THE ROOSTER! COME OVER HERE, A ROOSTER AND A COUGAR!  HAHAHAHAHAHAH"

I felt that she might be advocating some kind of vicious fight to the death between us, a cougar-rooster and a plain rooster?

I smiled politely and a with a touch of rueful thrown in, I walked slowly away from the sale while walking slowly away.


She was still talking about the animal fight as I backed away.

I never really heard what she said.



*********************

The Ship Wreck

why do i continue to wreck my ship upon you?

Those harsh cliffs, wheeling shitting gulls.

We seem to have telepathy you and I so it's

for me to find the most treacherous places to hit.




My ship is becoming bare, it is so

damaged by the constant pounding

and sharp salty seawater

seeping in through awesome holes.


The boards are coming loose on the deck;

The sails are raggedy, and carelessly patched.










So I  navigate around the cliffs and dangerous rocks,

but that leads me into open waters.

The crew valiantly clings to the ship -

(altho some do plunge overboard in terror and ocean like tears)

the deeps roil.

i am afraid.





Was it better to -

Should I have -









The moon pulls me further out to sea,

out of sight of any land or safety.

O earth and rocks and sand,
sticks and bugs I miss you!



I will pilot my course,

eat a t.v. dinner, and

find something to pray to.

*********************

Family Reunion

We had a family reunion and everybody came.

The old house still looks the same, although it seems smaller and more haunted than it used to.

Our cousin Gladys of course had to sing first thing, she always had the opinion that a song will start a gathering out just right.

Usually she sings "I'm Hurting Momma, Take Me Home To Jesus".

It's inspiring.

 I always felt like the odd one out, like I somehow did not belong in this family of extroverts and show-offs.

I felt like I was looking through a window wanting to join someone else's perfect life.









But you only had to look at little Auntie Ann and her stubby arms to know that we really were related.

So what did we do at the reunion?  We had lots of food and games; we all spent some time together and apart looking up at Grandma's old window, boarded up since the accident.  We all remembered her leaning out the window and shrieking to the trees.  

It's funny how memories can sneak up on you.


Uncle Johnny was as wierd as ever, but I can't say I don't still love him!  We were engaged to be married that one year, but everyone knows how that turned out.

 We were all sad to leave the old house that evening.   It felt like that even if we did have another family reunion, nothing would be the same.  The light, the house, the trees or us.

Nothing stays the same, does it?

******************************

dedicated to my family

In Her Mansion

In her mansion there are rooms of course.
Furniture, windows, heavy wooden doors with heavy iron pulls.

There is treasure in that house, hidden and in plain sight.
You might not recognize it if you see it.

There are vague shadows that flit across the cold walls, that taunt and tease.
Sometimes they whisper words of long held fears.

If you choose to wander through the mansion, watch your step.
The skeletons may pop out!
There is also a hairy guy with an axe!
(just kidding)

There are occasionally strange animals running wild through the hallways,
dropping their poisonous feces on the velvet runners.



There are warm inviting glows emanating from under the closed doors that
soften and disperse as you draw near.







Some windows are nailed shut, some are painted bright blue and are opaque.
Some you can open with one pinky finger, with the softest gentlest touch.

One last word, watch out for the ghosts.  

And don't stay too long, or you'll long to stay forever.

Queen For A Day

She woke up in a nest of wrappers and empty bags. 

You know, cheetos and twix bars and Safeway grocery bags.

She was completely disoriented and cold.  Really cold!

Well she was wearing a leather dress with no sleeves! and no tights!

“Shit!” she thought.

"AGAIN."

QUEEN

I have been restored to my throne as is my birthright.  

My rule has been restored;  the “silver age” that the old ones still love to speak of is here, now.

You don’t remember my former reign my young ones.  The terror, the beauty.  The glorious sacrifices we all had to make and wanted to make because we cared.  The earth was our true home then, part of us, not just a  stopping off point to some other bleak planet  in the vast -ness of the universe.

In fact, you may have dreamed of this epoch.  Memories of it do lie deep deep in what we call your “left brain”.  It was a real time and place that is happening once again.

So I have had to toil and kneel as you have;  I have dragged that bag of pain so far and so long now;  now I will ascend the fair hill to wear my crown.

You are all beside me, we will reside and rule as one.

The city spread before me(us).   

Human and sky come together again.