Hi. This is me with my new murphy bed.
Yes, it arrived damaged and yes I signed for it.
I had been tangling with the trucking company for two weeks over the delivery of this thing, and ultimately I was lucky that I didn't have to lug this 140lb bed frame into my condo by myself.
So that night, stewing over the whole experience, lying on the floor next to my future bed,
I couldn't sleep.
I heard something.
a...kind of folding cardboard sound.
I saw a dark shape pry itself out of the murphy bed box!
I grasped my blankets closer to my chin and switched on the light.
AAAAahhhh! The demon of Damaged Shipping!
I had the feeling that she couldn't see me,
even though the light was on. Everyone knows that Shipping demons can't see in the light.
Turning it on probably saved my life.
I've read that they can slice you up pretty good with the box cutters they have for toes.
and besides, she seemed intent on something besides me...
I wonder when she had lodged herself into my merchandise.
I was told by the asshole trucking company that
the bed was damaged in Chicago.
Maybe it was there.
Was she trying to get to Seattle, or
maybe it didn't matter where she ended up.
In that same book on demons I read that "Shippers" can sometimes travel around the world thousands of times before they're even glimpsed.
Well, you can definitely see their handy work!
Suddenly she shushed and made a wierd face.
I thought about getting that fishing net I had and throwing it over her.
I would make her pay for wrecking my bed, I
was so tired of sleeping on the floor!
I managed to find a baseball bat that I could whack her with, but when I came back in the room,
she looked so relaxed and sensual that I couldn't do it.
I wondered if maybe I could harness her demon powers, get her to do my bidding, whatever that was. Take vengeance on the
trucking company! The murphy bed people!
I could rule the world!
I worked up the courage to approach her, and she still would not look me in the eye!
Maybe Shippers have feelings after all, maybe
she knew that I had been fucked over and she felt bad about wrecking my mattress.
as if sensing my questions, she replied,
"I don't 'feel' bad.
I don't 'feel' anything at all.
A hole is a rip is a tear is a rent.
It's all the same to me."
Her cryptic demon speak made me uncomfortable.
Was the universe really so cut and dried?
Was destruction so utterly without emotion?
I decided to go and hide in the kitchen until she went away.
I hope she doesn't come back.