Thursday, June 30, 2011

"Let's Go Modelin'!"


" A Sampling of My  Workplaces and Assignments in the Exciting & Varied World of Life Modeling"  


"How to Learn to Stare at a White Wall for 20 Minutes and Not Go Mad"

or:   "Yes, I Wore The Robe"

Fact:  The majority of places I work do not have hooks on which to hang my clothes.
Sometimes my clothes are large, yes, but usually they are not!

It's really not scandalous, but there is nudity involved.
And sweat, and the smell of fear and inspiration.

Danielle taught me how to model.  
"Don't sit or lie down all the time.  Do lots of standing poses.  Don't be a lazy model."

"Don't choose a pose where you have your arms above your heart for longer than a minute."
"If they like you, they'll ask you back."

A painting teacher said to me when i was just starting:
"You're a queen up there.  They're lucky to paint you."

Well, there you have it.  Pretty steamy huh? Pretty exciting? 
We models are the unsung heroes of the art world.
The work horses of the studios.
Give me a clean sheet and a timer that works and I'm ready to go!

Let's go Modelin' again soon, ok?

Thanks to Mike Regan & Daniel Connors for their painting talents


Sunday, June 26, 2011

King St. part 3

And you'll never guess what I did for love in that house up on the hill!
Never in a million years.

Yes sir I built it.  With these two hands.
Yes before they built the bridge, the house was on the edge of a very steep bluff, went allllllll the way down to the tideflats where them were always digging for something.

You see, I thought I could make her love me.   Oh you know.  But she didn't want to stay, she just wanted to "go home" you know, all the time.  Got a little tired of hearing the same thing, wouldn't you?
I tried to give her what she wanted, but it kept changing!

I heard that too.
I don't think she haunts it, no sir.  I never have felt anything like that, I guess I'd know if she came back! Ha ha.
It's not like she died here.


Saturday, June 25, 2011

King St. part 2

And over here, ladies and gentlemen, is  the centerpiece of our tour!
The house on King St.!
I'm sure you all saw the numerous clippings on the King St. house back in the tour office!
Wasn't that a story!

 i sit on the porch and look out at the sound.  i can't even see the islands because the fog is so thick.  i can hear them digging on the beach again.

Yes I believe that part of the story is true, but unfortunately ladies and gentlemen we are unable to tour the King St. house itself right now, due to complicated contractual obligations. 

 If you'll come right this way, we'll see the building where that awful massacre happened in the 80's!


King St.

You know that house?
Which one?
That one, right there!
Yes you do, you see it from the bus everyday!
I do?
Yes. on your way home from the park?
Oh...gaaa a flea just bit me!
shut up let me tell you!
What? About that house? I don't really care.
But you don't even want to know what happened? back in 2011?
Not really.
God you're a bitch.
Let me eat my salad, please.


Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Oh Those Girls!

fuck yeah i'm a fuck you up!
Step off BITCH, look at my man like that
Yeah, your hair look real pretty lying in a puddle of your own BLOOD

oh  i like your dress! 
Your hair looks really cute, did you just get it cut?
I like it A LOT.
It's just the right cut for your face.

you think you're pretty special, you're so PRETTY.
what if i took this wine glass and smashed it on the table like this and then ground it into your face, huh, what then?
(dripping blood onto your designer shoes!)

I like your shoes! They're really cute!
That's a great color on you.
Is that new?
What a beautiful tattoo!

(why do i sense you before we even make eye contact,  sneaking up behind me like the stealth warrior you've had to learn to be.   Speak in codes you learn, and don't ever let THEM know what's going on.  You want something from me, my loyalty or my shoes or my man or my scalp.
What will we use next to get what we want?)


Tuesday, June 14, 2011

She Thought!

She thought it was a real job!
No kidding!
See, what happened was that she spent all her money getting out here, and then the "job" that she came all the way out here for turns out to know.  "Something" else.
You know! Don't play dumb, you're faking! You know.
She thought it was a governess job.

I heard those postcards of hers were selling for 50 dollars in some places!
I know. There are only so many of them.
They show her tattoos!
Brady bought one.  He doesn't know I know.  He won't tell me how much he paid.
He did!
go get it.

It actually just costs 20 dollars, to, you know....
Brady has a  friend,  a fellow that he drinks with, he said he knew firsthand that she'll
do it for free, for love.
You trickster! You don't say!

Is that how the other stuff happened?
You heard about that?
Oh, yes.  I find myself getting a little weepy about all of those goings-on.
Well, she certainly has kept her looks, I will give her that.
Yes, but you know what the bible says.
Of course! That's very true.

Well it's lucky her folks aren't here.
Nobody knows her, really.  We shouldn't even be talking about her.
It's scandalous!
Yes, and except for what happened in the desert...
Yes, that.

Oh, well with the way she was living, it's no wonder...
When you're promised a job though...Lord, what are you supposed to do? Not work?
Was she that naive? If she thought that she could ever be anything else
I've heard they're born that way.

She must enjoy her work, don't you agree?
Yes, 20 dollars is nothing to sneeze at.  But for love!....
May I see the....again...
Well I'd better get...
Yes me too.

Monday, June 6, 2011

My Backyard

there are things even i can't see in my backyard.



yesterday, i heard a noise that sounded like a hanging man.  creak creeeeeak.  no other sound but the wind.  the chickens weren't very upset by it.  i wanted to investigate, but i was too scared.  i thought that it probably sounded like Andrew when he- 

the trampoline is covered with ivy, the hottub is leaking some kind of foul gas.  Even the garden gnome is apathetic.

But the flowers! and the bees, we'll have raspberries soon.  The sun, warm light falling through the leaves of the plum tree!

I taste life and I find it bitter; I savor the sweetness I can find. 
  I will eat it all until there is no more.