I AM MY OWN BITCH

Starring:
Kirsten & Kirsten

What the fuck are you doing?
Reading.
You have 6 more BLOG stories to write.
I know.  I still have....shit only two days? to write six more?
Yeah.
Oh oh.
So go do it.
I don't want to right now...
Fuck you!
Shut up.
No! You made  a challenge to yourself Kirsten, and no one else is going to finish it for you.
So what? I issued the challenge to myself, so it doesn't matter if I do it or not!
"No one reads it anyway."
Right!
You'll be letting yourself down.
So?
Look, after this one is done, that I'M helping you with, there will only be 5 more to write.
That's true.  But I don't know--it's hard....
SHUT UP.  God no more whining, you're making me sick.

(PAUSE)

But now Clair is using the computer....
Nice excuse.  Don't be so fucking lazy.  Write it down like in the olde days, remember? You used to like writing that way.
I still do but now my hand starts to hurt and my writing gets more and more sloppy-
God shut up.  Please, write.
Yes, Kirsten.

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   Thanks to Lance Wagner for the photo:        lancewagnerphotography.com
                                                                                                     

Six, Five, Four

#6
I  was staring at the white wall with the speaker cord running along it.  There was a long shadow that i became convinced was a cast iron pipe.  The  speaker cord was resting on the furnace that hangs from the ceiling and i started obsessing that the wire would melt and cause a fire.  The furnace's name is MODINE and I always think, "Matthew?"

#5
If you don't quit I'll hit you, I mean it!
Ok, don't give me those eyes.
The first story was about Moses and how he piloted his arc to the north pole and liberated the eskimos.
That was the first one i heard and boy was i hooked!
Sure you can look at my radio, if you want, maybe, we can go
for a ride and maybe...we'll...have...a....story.
(wink wink)

#4
Upstairs was quiet.
No one was there.
Hmmm i wondered.
Then I remembered! And that's why i should never have gone upstairs!
I rushed into the bathroom and there they were, all hacked up and packed in the circular bathtub.
Yuck!
I backed out of the room, backed down the stairs, got a cigarette, backed out the front door and sat down in my laz-y-boy.
Those pancakes are never going to taste the same, now.

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One Two Three

#1
I just thought i would make the Bisquick this morning.
But strangely, no one was awake.

I called out, "who's up?" and no one spoke.
I started to get the first chills.

But i went on upstairs anyway.
Big mistake right?
Right.

#2
My radio was really saying some weird things today! I mean it was like i had books on tape or something! There was no stupid talking or music, just stories, lovely STORIES you know i love
 the stories.
What were they about?
Well I don't know, i've heard so many by now!
It's been going on for awhile, and why do you want to know?
How long? "how long?"
I don't have to tell you nuthin.
And ESPECIALLY about the stories.
I'll keep them for myself (nosy turd).

#3
While i was working the other day, I started wondering if my arm, like what if  the nerves in my arm DIED and my arm turned black and had to be cut off.  And then I had to have a bionic arm or whatever it's called.  Would I be a popular model? Could I get film work? Are there any other bionic art models out there? Could I tour?
Then I started thinking of something else.

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One Day There Was A Girl;

The End.

Rendered Inoperable

Dear Dr. Stewart;

I am so excited! I am writing this in the bathroom again, I am putting off my bath in my urgency to write you about the latest incident!

I'm assuming that you know what I'm referring to, I'm just assuming that you got my letter at all!  They might not have wanted you to see it.
So I'll quickly allude to it:

I was putting on my grey sweat pants after my bath and i noticed a pink paper clip clipped to the tag.  I had NO memory of how it got there or WHY or by WHOM and if you'll remember, I suspected a conspiracy of watchers.

(recently i have been pondering the idea that we are just an original prototype of  "Robot" created by ? and that we will soon be replaced by newer models.  or has that always been happening?!)

So I slept with the paper clip on and in the morning, in the bathroom, there on the counter was a new one!  It was pink too.
In a semi trance I picked up the clip, all the while thinking of you, Doctor, and I bent it out beyond all recognition.  It looked like a pink piece of wire.  I smiled demonically ( i was looking in the mirror) thinking about Their camera or microphone or tracking device or whatever it was rendered completely inoperable.  Ha Ha!

So I left it there and waited to see what would become of it.  I have been watching it continuously for 4 hours, but i may take a break soon.

Let me know your thoughts Doctor, I am sorely seeking release from this mystery.

Sincerely,
X

Pink Paper Clip

Dr. Stewart,

I was suddenly very afraid that the pink paper clip i found hooked onto the tag of my sweat pants involved me in a bigger cons;piracy or project.
Were my clothes being monitored?
I had chosen the "pink paper clip" sweat pants; was my choice being watched and notated elsewhere?

What of my suddenly writing furiously on my laptop at the sink in the steamy bathroom.
What would THEY make of that.

I'm sure they are not reading my words anyway.
They know my habits by now, anyway.

I felt somewhat appeased by the idea that I didn't count.

The lingering...fear is brought on again:
 Who attached the paper clip to my pants? If I had left the stupid pants where they were when I found them, I could have found some clues.  Maybe.
So ok ok, I know that a "paper clip" is not really that big of an idea.  right?  hahahahahahahahaha ha.

I will let you know if I find anymore.

Sincerely,
X

Rambling Among Us

Someone is shining a light in the darkness,
does it matter who they are?

Is that sand or snow?

Does it matter?

 If you shut yourself away from the world, does it cease to exist?

How long can you live with a window between you and them?

 And if that light in the darkness shoots up,  do you move out of the way?

If the light is blinding do you go toward it or
do you look away?









                                                                                 
                                                                                    Is that
the ceiling or the floor?

Are you lying on your back or are you peering down?

Where to step, which way to walk.
Up, down, sideways, backways, and slantwise.
Don't forget to try them all.




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