No one expected Selena to show up at the bar that night, but she did, looking more stunning than ever.
Every hipster in the place turned to stare as she jerked across the room. It looked like she had stapled several twigs around her head to look like a crown of thorns. The blood had dried like crimson tattoos running down her temples. Her eyes reflected the lights and she was gorgeous.
So we're sitting there and she staggers over and doesn't even try to order a drink. She just stared at us all and we could see the new holes in her cheeks she had poked through her skin. With her shy smile the holes rode her cheeks like charming dimples.
"Hey", she said.
We all said whatever.
"Not one guy whistled at me on my way here. NOT ONE tried to grab my ass or creep on me." She started laughing. "I'm ugly! I'm Ugly!" She yelled at us, still laughing.
It was funny but not in the way she thought it was. Selena had become a godess. Ever since she had come in people had been inching closer and scraping their chairs and overrunning the booths around us. Selena didn't notice until that one annoying kid touched her shoulder.
It was a reverent, adoring touch as if she were a favorite statue. I was sitting right there when her right arm seemed to swing out with a will of it's own, whirling backwards to smack him along the side of his face. Unfortunately, she had one of those tacky heavy glass candle holders they put on every table in her hand at the time.
No one knew what to do and then everyone was doing something different. It was total chaos in there.
And in all the excitement Selena somehow vanished. She just wasn't there anymore.
I had a dream about Selena last night. I was like her reflection as she looked in the mirror. And I had her thoughts as she gazed but they weren't what you'd think of as "thoughts", you know like "words". They felt like worms crawling thorough my head, slimey and struggling to climb over the hundreds of worms that were twisting there. I really wanted to see myself because I was heartbreakingly lovely, but all I could feel were the worms.
And then she just wasn't around anymore. Didn't come back to work. Not out at the bar or anything. I mean no one ever saw her, and how could you miss a beauty like that?
***************
Every hipster in the place turned to stare as she jerked across the room. It looked like she had stapled several twigs around her head to look like a crown of thorns. The blood had dried like crimson tattoos running down her temples. Her eyes reflected the lights and she was gorgeous.
So we're sitting there and she staggers over and doesn't even try to order a drink. She just stared at us all and we could see the new holes in her cheeks she had poked through her skin. With her shy smile the holes rode her cheeks like charming dimples.
"Hey", she said.
We all said whatever.
"Not one guy whistled at me on my way here. NOT ONE tried to grab my ass or creep on me." She started laughing. "I'm ugly! I'm Ugly!" She yelled at us, still laughing.
It was funny but not in the way she thought it was. Selena had become a godess. Ever since she had come in people had been inching closer and scraping their chairs and overrunning the booths around us. Selena didn't notice until that one annoying kid touched her shoulder.
It was a reverent, adoring touch as if she were a favorite statue. I was sitting right there when her right arm seemed to swing out with a will of it's own, whirling backwards to smack him along the side of his face. Unfortunately, she had one of those tacky heavy glass candle holders they put on every table in her hand at the time.
No one knew what to do and then everyone was doing something different. It was total chaos in there.
And in all the excitement Selena somehow vanished. She just wasn't there anymore.
I had a dream about Selena last night. I was like her reflection as she looked in the mirror. And I had her thoughts as she gazed but they weren't what you'd think of as "thoughts", you know like "words". They felt like worms crawling thorough my head, slimey and struggling to climb over the hundreds of worms that were twisting there. I really wanted to see myself because I was heartbreakingly lovely, but all I could feel were the worms.
And then she just wasn't around anymore. Didn't come back to work. Not out at the bar or anything. I mean no one ever saw her, and how could you miss a beauty like that?
***************
Many of us feel trapped in our own skin. We can feel as if our outside is what defines us, and the struggle to reconcile these differences can be life-long.
ReplyDelete-Kirsten